Questions and answers: how my son is doing

Question: How's boy doing? I understand it's a sensitive and private topic, but because I've read about his development since birth, I'm interested to know how he's doing now.

(Original question in Estonian: "Kuidas poisil läheb? Ma saan aru, et see on tundlik ja eraeluline teema, aga kuna ma olen tema arengu kohta sünnist saadik lugenud, siis huvitab, kuidas tal praeguseks on?")

I short, he's doing well. I think we are all doing well :)

I've heard it said many times - mostly by people from Ministries of Social Development and Education, and various health professionals - that when children have health / developmental / behavioural issues, it's important to invest and intervene early on; that's when help is the most effective. I don't know if that's the case with us - maybe we would've been in this situation regardless of whether we were helped or not - but we are right in the middle of "dropping" various support networks we no longer need and it feels good to be here.

At the end of this month, for example, I am expecting us to be discharged from the care of a paediatrician. To be honest, we were considering it last year already, but the paediatrician recommended staying on because once discharged, it's hard to get "back in" - access to support services is much easier from under a registered paediatrician. He suggested we give it another year to make sure that we don't have any other news "things" pop up that may require access to therapies.

Nothing's popped up. On the contrary - both my child and our family as a whole are becoming increasingly independent and confident in our ability to do things independently.

You're right, it's a sensitive and private topic I am trying to approach with grace and consideration for what is, essentially, another person's story; but I think it's fair to acknowledge that we've all had a role to play - I, as a parent, have needed to grow, too. And it makes sense - children spend most of their early years with their immediate caregivers, so in the interest of my children's development I've needed to "upskill" my own approaches to parenting. At times I've felt that the support systems have targeted me as much as they've targeted my son, because in order to help him they've needed to help me be a good parent.

To my daughter, many things come easier than they do to my son, especially in terms of balance, language and mathematics. But! My son has got a heck of a work ethic, and boy! does that make a difference.

Last year the primary school my children attend gave out awards to students that have shown outstanding performance during the school year. There were awards for academic achievement, sports, music/arts etc, about ten in total. My son received an award for perseverance - probably the most fitting, and the most pride-inducing award they could've given to him. It acknowledged, basically, that whilst he has had challenges along the way, he has persevered - a skill which I treasure greatly, and which I'd like to think we incorporate into our lives as a family.

One of the teachers who taught him reading last year said to me that he is an absolutely wonderful kid to work with. She said, "He listens. You tell him once and he does it. When he makes a mistake, he goes back and tries again." I was very proud to hear her say that.

So what I am getting at is this: he is doing well. He is eight years old. He reads well (in English) and has started to show interest in learning Estonian. He adds/deducts well within 0-20, with occasional exploring in 20+ ranges. He can swim confidently 10+ metres and dives well to 1.5m depths, likes indoor rock climbing, goes on moderately strenuous walks with us and, basically, in terms of development is doing just about on par with his peers. He has made several good friends at school and their parents have become my own personal friends, which is to say - we now all hang out quite regularly :). He has a beautiful sense of humour. He is kind-hearted and gentle.

With the reading ability, especially: he is now able to pick books from the shelf and explore them, more or less on his own. Each week as we pick our new books from the library, he browses the shelves and picks what takes his fancy: comics, nature & science stories, rhymes. He reads them aloud and makes theatrical sounds to go with it: a roar of a lion, a hiss of a snake. You can hear the glee in his voice over being able to read, you can see it in his eyes. I think he takes great pleasure in being able to read not only because he now has an ability that, up until now, belonged to his parents; but because he can appreciate that he worked hard to get there.

That he has worked quite hard to get there, it only makes me appreciate even more what a cool kid he is.


  1. Täitsa lõpp, mul läksid isegi silmad natuke niiskeks seda teksti lugedes! Mul on nii kohutavalt hea meel teie üle! Poisis ma ei kahelnud kohe algusest peale ja seda enam on mul rõõm lugeda, et ta on õige abiga ja teie toetusega nii kaugele jõudnud ja saab nüüd ka ise oma töö vilju nautida. See muidugi ei tähenda, et katsumused sellega lõppenud oleks, aga sellise sihikindluse ja visadusega jõuab ta veel kaugele :-)

    Aitäh et jagasid!

    PS. Uskumatu et ta on juba kaheksane! Alles oli 4 ja 5!


  2. Seda kõike on tõesti rõõm lugeda! Jaksu ja indu edasiseks.