There are so many things I no longer blog about. I'd like to, but I don't. Lack of time, mostly - I just do other things instead.
But tonight I felt it important enough to just sit down and write briefly what's swirling in my head.
For a long time already, I have been surrounded by very, very good people. Every day I do certain things in a certain way because I have learned from people who have showed me how. And I have wondered if I've simply been lucky enough, or whether I have set the bar high enough that I've come across those good people because I have decided that people like that are worth spending time with.
This young man:
He is no longer part of my life, but almost every day something will remind me of him. There are many things he showed me / taught me how to do, and behaviours/responses/reactions I cultivate because I saw him do something, and liked the way he lived, and wanted to learn how to, too.
This young man:
By far the most of my parenting skills come from this man who showed me what a parent can do, and be to a child. The fact that I can now look at myself and say, "I'm a good parent," is because I am doing it with him and I have learned how. In fact, I feel I can now pull my own weight.
This young woman:
I think a lot of me feeling settled in New Zealand and finally understanding how New Zealanders think, is to do with this woman. She brought me into her life and her circle of friends (who are wonderful!), and just being part of that - part of a group of people of whom many are born and bred here - helped me understand, and learn, and see what warmth is like.
This young woman:
She brings such unpretentious normalcy to my life, and reminders that going out and doing things is still possible, even with the kids. I look at her and think, if she can do it, I can, too.
And I could actually continue on, but I won't because it's late and I want to go to sleep.
Point is: when I think back to my life in the last 10+ years, I've been surrounded by very, very good people. There have always been outstanding people around me - people to look up to, and learn from, and enjoy spending time with.
Is it because I, myself, see myself worthy of such company? Is it that, because I want to spend time with such people, I end up with such people?
Or have I simply been outrageously lucky?
Because I think it's the former - mostly. I think somewhere in the middle school / high school I came to a point where I decided that I no longer wanted to spend time with people I didn't enjoy spending time with. Rather than hanging out with people I didn't like, I searched out people I did like, and then magic happened.
I continue doing it. I continue purposefully seeking out contact with people I am actually enjoying spending time with.
I thought about it because today me and The Man discussed raising the floors of our house rather than lowering the ceilings. And it's funny, because I first got the idea when I read someone's blog post about the painful reality of high expectations (that author made a point that rather than "raising the ceiling, raise the floor instead") and it got me thinking about architecture instead - about my house, and its structural challenges.
But then after thinking about architecture, I started thinking about relationships and expectations instead - in the context the author of that blog first intended me to.
Why is it that I feel I've been surrounded by such great personalities of people in my life? Why is it that I continue meeting such great people?
Is it because I've been lucky?
Or is it that I think I'm worthy of sharing in such company?