Traumatised

The beginning of this year is tough. I feel trampled over and overwhelmed. In an arrogant way I'd like to say that I also lack the social skills to deal with people who are either stupid or not doing their jobs well, but that would do injustice to everyone involved. Nevertheless, the fact that my school department have yet again done... I mean, it's diabolical. What they've done is diabolical. How one after another after another I am uncovering what looks like an absolutely disorganised and incompetent system behind the colorful slogans of quality education, it's beyond me. How can someone run a tertiary education department and get away with stuff like that???

On a good note, there is change coming this year. I have a new tutor who is absolutely FANTASTIC. Spectacular! I love pretty much everything about him so far. There is also a new programme manager who I hope has the interest in actually doing a good job.

The problem though, I am still at the receiving end of the problems. The new programme manager looked into government paperwork yesterday and found out that the curriculum I am on is only allowed to graduate up to 31 March 2019.

My expected graduation is November 2019.

Meaning, I was allowed to go part-time onto a curriculum which is not actually allowed to be completed in the timeframe they've let me on. Two weeks into my second school year I have to change curriculums and timetables, and to say that I am angry at them is a pretty accurate way of putting it.

I left his office yesterday afternoon, dropped my bag on the floor and just cried in the hallway. I then composed myself and went into my environment class. When a couple of boys started throwing around opinions about climate change not being a real thing ("The Paris agreement is a joke! A joke! Even scientists don't agree that it's happening! It's a natural thing Earth does, it cools and warms. It's all just a way to put more taxes on the everyday people." etc) I got angry enough that I stood up and asked them to back their opinions with facts and references.

In hindsight, bad idea. What I should've done instead is present my own understanding on this topic in a calm way and just left them to it. Wound up and traumatised, I lashed out instead. Now I am about to start crying at the idea of having to pick up the f*ckin' paperwork again to figure out what classes I need to take at what times, re-arrange childcare, re-arrange government support hours.

I am SO GLAD we have that new tutor. I am SO HOPEFUL over the arrival of a new programme manager who, I hope, will make sure that no other student will have to go through the administrative trouble I've gone through.

But nevertheless, I am sitting here with a wobbly jaw, eyes welled up with tears and thinking, why.  Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to spend evening upon evening dealing with this stuff!?!

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