On growing

It's... amazing, actually, to see myself live through this time now, and grow.

Sometimes I've gone through periods where I've felt that although life has moved on - jobs have come and gone, houses have come and gone, different towns, different circumstances - I have remained... static. I haven't grown much, personally.

But now almost every day I've had music on. Instead of listening to TED talks, podcasts and Radio New Zealand, I've listened to music instead; listened to music and have felt myself grow.

I've sang out loud to John Mayer's 'Why Georgia', car windows down and speakers blaring, and cried to his 'Free fallin'', curled up on a sofa. And what's with this fascination with John Mayer anyway? I don't know.

But I know that his music speaks to me at the moment.

When The Kid has had enough of listening to Why Georgia, Who Says and In Your Atmosphere (all by John Mayer), he has demanded either "racin caaa!" (yuss! It's Route 66 also by John Mayer ;)) or "dig a hole, dig a hole!" (Jericho by Brooklyn Gospel Singers), so we've sang or danced together to those.

It's been a tough week, with The Girlie spending a day vomiting and now The Kid screaming with a mighty infection of strep throat, all between meetings with therapists and social workers, amidst keeping up with such simple ventures as grocery shopping, doing laundry and dishes - hello parenthood - and yet I still feel myself growing.

It's my brain putting in new paths of understanding, learning to view things differently to how I've viewed them before, and that's part of the reason I've got up every morning yearning to just go back to bed and sleep and sleep and sleep, but... still.

It's amazing to see myself live through this time now, and grow.

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