Missing freedom

Sometimes being an adult sucks. Today I've sat and looked through hundreds of photos of when I was... I'd like to say younger, but that's not the point - it's more that the photos were from before I had kids, before I'd met The Man, when I pretty much just had to take care of myself and that was about the extent of what I was having to take care of.

I mean, I still think I need to take care of myself, even now, but it's that now I have to take care of myself first and then I have a whole bunch of other people to take care of.

And today I just really, really miss that freedom. Like, really miss that freedom.

I miss when I didn't have to argue over parenting decisions.
When I didn't have to discuss what school to send any kids to.
When there was constantly an array of plans on where to go and what to do, and now I've looked at prices of plane tickets either to Estonia or Nepal, and I've gone, "Dammit."

I sure do enjoy having a little more brains than I did back then and grace not to look at my younger self and berate her for some of the stupid stuff she did back then, but... I do miss the freedom.

I miss friends who know me from before New Zealand.

Yeah, it's definitely been a long week this week.

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